When you have nothing to say…

I believe I am one person who is very conscious of the power of words, because of that, I tend to guard what I say to people. I am human of course and when I get pushed venom may come from my mouth, I’m still a work in progress, hopefully I will get to a point when I don’t react with harsh words when I am offended.

The saying, silence is golden, is one I believe that certain people need to learn and understand better. Two months after I gave birth to my son I was interviewed on the ZBC lunchtime news and I was really excited about it. Now if you’re a mother I’m sure you’re well aware of how hard it is to get your body back in shape after having a baby and you’re also conscious of what you wear. After my interview my whatsapp was flooding with congratulatory messages and I had a huge grin on my face as I headed back home. And then it happened, this lady commented on the pictures and videos I had posted saying, “eeeww you look so fat it’s disgusting, you shouldn’t have agreed to do the interview looking so gross”.

Firstly, this person claimed to be a friend and secondly she is also a mother so I did not understand where all the toxic and negative energy was coming from. I simply told her that shallow minded people were bound to focus on how I look and not what I was talking about so I was not moved by her saying that I looked disgusting. She then profusely apologized for it and I chose to simply ignore her after that.

I like to give people second, third and fourth chances if the situation allows so I forgave her and we went back to being acquaintances. Someone who also likes to run their mouth recently surprised me after seeing the wedding pictures, “finally you’re also married officially not zve roora chete, congratulations shuwa you have been patient”. I did not see the need to respond to her “congratulatory” message, the finally put me off as did her view of just having a traditional lobola celebration.

Oftentimes, we tend to allow the negative things people say to overwhelm us with emotion and we fail to enjoy the moment because of the negative words from people. If there is one thing I know for sure, it’s the fact that there are people out there who always want to criticize and bring others down. Listen, it’s definitely not because you have failed but it is envy that makes them spew out all the things they can think of to sap you of your joy. Some people were simply placed on this earth to rain on other people’s parades and it’s honestly up to you to either be gloomy and grumpy because of the wetness or simply dance in the rain and look forward to the rainbow that comes at the end. Because honestly, even after they’ve said what they’ve said, your achievement or goal has still been met.

There is a quote I like which says, “People who are intimidated by you talk bad about you with hopes that others won’t find you so appealing.” It’s true, there are many people who are searching for happiness and joy and still haven’t found it because they always seek to dampen the spirits of those who have found their own joy and happiness. So, be mindful of what you say and when you find that you can never wish someone well without a little part of you feeling pained or envious I suggest you search deep within yourself and find what insecurities lie there and you try to heal from them before you push people away with your mouth.

So the next time you’re itching to say something, if it is not kind maybe keep it to yourself because you clearly have nothing to say.