I stopped hanging my laundry and looked up to where she was standing. My husband looked at me with the, “please let it go” look because he knows I find the habit distasteful and I am always quick to call a person to order when they try it on my son.
“I rebuke your spirit”, I simply yelled back at her and continued to hang the remaining clothes. Mdu stood there holding our son and according to him, she looked confused by my statement but decided against further provocation and went into her flat.
I am a very spiritually inclined person, I avoid hugging people whose energy I am not sure of because it can have a negative impact on my own energy and I end up in a foul mood or even depressed. So please, when we meet for the first time, do try to avoid opening your arms for a hug because chances are I’ll extend my hand instead. Anyway, that’s another story, back to the issue at hand.
My husband and son were on their we want to follow mommy everywhere mode on Wednesday morning and that is when we had an encounter with a lady who lives in the same building. She speaks Ndebele and we usually have short conversations with her, it’s always good to meet someone else who speaks your language when you’re far away from home. Upon seeing Thando she said hello to us and began saying, “sabona mkhwenyana wami /hello my son in law” to Thando who in turn looked away and started to cry. She then went on to say, “ijaha lami alifuni bumbulu/my man doesn’t tolerate nonsense” and at that point I lost it.
I don’t mind people greeting my son and saying hi baby or young man and or boy, but,DO NOT make the mistake of declaring a relation or relationship with him when you know very well that you are no relation to my husband or myself. Some people carry ancestral spirits that even they do not know about and by making such proclamations they may be unknowingly offering a child to those spirits.
Now, in a world where we don’t even know each other well with our neighbours except for the occasional hello when we pass each other in the corridors, imagine the tragedy it would be if such an incident occurred. Ngiyabe ngingakwazi lokuthi ngimemezele izibongo zakobani njani ukuthi zisiyekele ( I wouldn’t even know how to communicate with your ancestors/spirits to tell them to leave us alone), and let’s be honest, who would I be to call on bloodlines I knew nothing of?
Weirdly enough, that evening I had a nightmare and I was fighting someone in the water, Mdu woke me up and my right hand was swollen and sore. It could have been a coincidence but it would have been best if it had just an isolated incident and I did not have the incident from the morning lingering at the back of my mind.
The morning after I gave birth, one of the nurses who had brought in my medication said hello to Thando by saying, “murume wangu akanaka chose/my husband is extremely handsome”, Mdu politely told her to never refer to our son as her husband ever again and she apologized for it and left. Now you may think we are irrational or whatever term that you see fit, but this is our son and what we do not approve of will never be acceptable to us. I am aware that people say all of these things as a form of endearment and since it’s women who like doing it, imagine being called dear/hun by someone you are not even in the slightest attracted to, you would be annoyed right, exactly.
So, in as much as parents do not want people kissing their children, which I will slap you for doing, we also do not want our sons or daughters being given husband/wife/in-law titles and I hope you can respect that.
Novelty Ink 