There are people in this world who believe that their presence has to be felt, ALWAYS, they want to be recognised and praised by everyone who they come across. In their minds, no one should possess the things they consider as, “the finer things in life”, especially if they themselves do not possess those things. Being around such people is exhausting truth be told, but every once in a while, when I am in the presence of people with this character trait I can’t help but be amused or feel deeply sorry for them.
Psychology describes the “superiority complex” as an attitude possessed by an individual which is meant to actually conceal feelings of inferiority and failure and in some people the attitude is developed due to overwhelming feelings in which one truly feels superior to others. I tend to find myself psychoanalysing such people, wondering which of the two could have led them to actually develop such an abhorrent trait. Oftentimes, inferiority concealment is always the reason and in such instances it is always sad to watch.
I once heard someone who possesses this trait saying, “with all the money I have I cannot afford to buy this but you’ll be shocked to see people here buying this thing as if they are buying a supercool”. I couldn’t help but laugh, it wasn’t a “in you face” kind of laugh, more of a chuckle, they felt the need to first make it known that they had a lot of money even if they could not buy the said gadget just so we would know that their pockets ran deep. The people around the table all gave each other the, “ here we go again look”.
A friend of mine once bought a car and she was paying it off in instalments, I would not have known this information had it not been for one of her relatives showing up and starting the conversation on how much she had paid for it. I had simply congratulated her, got inside to have a look at the interior and we continued having our drinks, she was hosting a braii. I knew to expect the worst when said cousin arrived and the first staten she uttered beefier even greeting anyone was, “mzala uhle waqala ngokuthenga imota ezidula ukwedlula ezethu/ cuz you started off with buying a car that is more expensive than mine”.
The rest of the evening felt as though the celebration was about her. We got to know how much she made, where she lived, the places she had travelled in that month alone, the price tags of what she was wearing and a whole lot more. Everyones was visibly irritated with her. To top it all off, she had told my friend that she had made a bad financial decision buying that car because if you could not buy something with one payment then you had no business buying it all. Maybe she was right about finally decisions since she was a financial advisor but there was absolutely no reason for her to burst her cousin’s bubble like that, especially infront of us.
If you have found a bit of yourself within this article, I suggest that you try to go for therapy and find ways to deal with the emotional pain and feelings of inferiority that lead you to have this aura of narcissism about you. The truth is that people who tend to feel inferior either hurt themselves or others, where one portrays the superiority complex, it is evident that they have chosen the latter. The tragic thing about this is that a lot of people will avoid hanging around you and not want to be involved in anything that you’re also a part of. That being said, you will find yourself alone and lonely and start to have these theories of how people hate you when in actual fact you caused your alienation through the way you carry yourself.
Therapy may not be an option for some people, in such cases I suggest that whenever you are around people try to identify and appreciate at least one strength possessed by the people you are with. Another thing you can do is learn to shut up, if it means biting your tongue well then so be it, let people do things their own way even if you think it is not the way it should be done. But most importantly, learn to read the room so that you do not find yourself being “the one to avoid” whenever people get together.
If you are a great person, let people sing your praises, do not force them to be a choir singing praises to you just so your ego is massaged.
Novelty Ink 