He left

He left me because of my crown.
He left!
The crown on my head was too heavy a load for him to carry.
He left!
The blood diamonds on my crown were too heavy a burden for his kinsman to accept.
He left!

We have all experienced love before, felt like we had found the one our hearts had been yearning for from the first time we knew a heart could skip a beat when in love, only to have it shattered.

I have heard a lot of girls bragging about how they have never been dumped by a guy before and they are always the ones to cut the guys loose in their relationships. Honestly, I do not think that that’s something we should brag about because the truth of the matter is that guy you just dumped would have dumped you a long time ago. Here is the thing, most guys will break up with you and still be with you whilst waiting for you to actually end the relationship. What I mean by that is, they will change their behaviour, start doing things they never used to do before or simply stop doing the things that they used to.

Obviously, you’ll ask if there is anything wrong and if you are lucky they might give you a hint that they are no longer interested in continuing the relationship and if not they’ll simply say nothing and turn up the heat by doing things that will drive you crazy until you get to the point where you finally decide to end things. I once asked my friend why they do that and he said it was a gentleman trait, to make sure they did not ruin a lady’s self esteem, especially a lady they once loved. I wasn’t at all convinced but maybe there was an element of truth in the statement, I guess it depends on which perspective you look at it from.

Of course there are those guys who, according to the given explanation are not gentleman and will break up with you without thinking twice about it and not because you would have done anything to deserve being dumped but simply because they want to move on to the next person who tickles their fancy. If you have ever been dumped out of the blue when you’re busy making plans for the future well I’m sure that you will also agree with the “gentleman” notion. Such a break up will have you hit rock bottom and surpassing it.

Knowing you are unwanted, undesirable and unlovable by a person you saw a future with can push you over the edge and close to insanity. Heartbreak is like death, no matter how many times you experience it; there is no getting used to it. Each is specific to the person lost, because the intensity of the love shared, memories made and time spent is different in each instance. I think I can safely say that, the most annoying thing someone trying to comfort you could possible say is, “I know what you are going through.” NO! You can never know what someone is going through because you do not know what that person meant to them let alone words said in happier times.

It’s important that the circle you keep closest to you during this time is made up of grounded people. I have heard the statement, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” Nothing could be further from the truth than this, the reality is, that healing is only as good as the length of your orgasm, that’s if you are lucky enough to get one(because your mind will be too consumed with questions like, if someone else can lay with me then why did he leave and well). Truth is there is a lot of self loathing that comes with this type of “healing”, and that is because you are looking for validation from the wrong people and also looking for it in the wrong way. Seeking closure after being left is another mistake we tend to make. The fact that you were left in the place should let you know that the gentleman trait does not exist in that person where you are concerned and they will most likely use your vulnerability to get into your pants again and simply state that it doesn’t change anything and you will be left feeling a fool for even thinking getting closure was a possibility.

You need to look within yourself and realize that you possess all the qualities and attributes that you are trying to get confirmation of possessing from people, because there is nothing worse than GIVING YOURSELF to someone you know will never want to be with you but is okay with being used to fill a void he has no desire or intention of filling even whilst he’s filling you up. Getting into a new relationship whilst you are still harboring pain and anger at former lovers is the worst thing to do; you will end up making someone who genuinely loves you pay for other people’s mistakes.

Do you remember how you were left, I do; broken! But after a while I realized that I was beautifully broken because from the shattered pieces I was left in, I learned how to rebuild myself from the shards, placing the cornerstone of who I was reinventing myself to be in my dreams and not dreams of a shared life with a partner.